Joe and Becky Delves from King’s Church Heathfield have been married over 10 years, and have always wanted children, both from natural means and through adoption. Becky shared with us her families journey of how they managed to adopt a little boy.
“Joe’s mum was brought up in care, and he has since then developed a strong sense of compassion for those in care. It had been on my mind for a long time but it was on one particular week that it felt like I was being convinced we should do it. We had already begun building our family and had 2 beautiful children before we decided to adopt.
It was National Adoption Week and I was at home with my children when I felt like every time I turned on the TV or radio, I was reminded of adoption. Each time, something grew in me and I gradually became more passionate about the idea of it. By the end of the week, we decided to start the process. We started reading every book that was available on adoption, speaking to every family we knew who had done it before, and praying much more about it. We realised there can be a lot of fear around adoption and fostering on how your family will change, how your children may be affected and how it can be scary to welcome a new family into your own, however throughout the whole process, we felt peace.
Jeremiah 29:11 11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
We went to along to an information evening, and were told to wait some time before we could begin. So we came back months later and the process had officially started. We went through the approval stage fairly quickly, but the matching stage took much longer. It gets tough when they show you potential children, and you start to give your heart to them and nothing comes of it. We knew though that God had a child for us.
At Catalyst Festival 2015 someone gave my mum a prophetic word and said they felt that God was saying ‘Your baby is safe.’ My mum knew immediately this was for us, and for the adopted child that would join us one day.’ We knew God was speaking through this.
We were told about a little boy and once again gave him a piece of our hearts, but in October 2015 it was confirmed that he would be part of our family at only 7 months old!
He came with a very long list of potential ‘issues’ with a 50% chance of Huntingdon’s disease being the top one, causing the panel to question why we were so keen to adopt him. We told them that we wanted to adopt a child into our family whoever they were, and love them as our own. We had seen the cycle that can happen when parents have been in care, then later their own children being taken into care and so on, and wanted to break that cycle for this child and give him opportunities he may have otherwise not had.
Our little boy has hit all of his milestones and is completely healthy! Our social worker recently tracked down his birth grandma’s records and discovered that in fact the Huntington’s gene was incorrect and our baby had no risk of inheriting the Huntingdon’s disease after all! Our love for him is no different. He is a member of our family, and we even sometimes we forget he was even adopted.”
Becky’s top tips for those considering Fostering or Adoption:
- Get involved with those who have done it before as well as social workers. Go along to information evenings and read books on the subject
- They say only 10% of people thinking of doing it, actually follow through because of fear. Don’t let fear stop you. Seek the wisdom of others and allow God to speak to you
- Feel free to get in touch with us through Catalyst to ask us any questions